Editor's Note: Each week, Mike "Statman" Donovan writes up obscure and fun trivia related to the Portland Timbers and Thorns FC. We call them #Statman Stumpers, presented by Dutch Bros. Think you can beat the Statman? Post your scores on social media.
With the return of the 2020 MLS regular season this Sunday against Seattle Sounders FC (7pm, FS1), #Statman asks if you can name every Timbers player across all eras of the club who has scored against our rivals to the north. Don't let the format below scare you. You don't need to know the exact match date of each goalscorer, you just need to guess the names.
Club
#Statman Stumpers | Can you name every Timbers player to ever score against Seattle?


Hispanic Heritage Night Special Offer
A special ticket+scarf offer for the Timbers' Hispanic Heritage Night on Sept. 27 as the club takes on FC Dallas.
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Night in Pictures | A visit to the North Star State
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5:15
"We looked fluent, we looked mobile" | Neville talks about draw with Minnesota
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2:14
"We tried to stay in the game and it's a good point for us" | Chara on draw with Minnesota
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7:30
HIGHLIGHTS | Minnesota United vs. Portland Timbers | Aug. 30, 2025
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RECAP | Portland Timbers battle to 1-1 draw with Minnesota United FC
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1:05
OWN GOAL | Antony sets up a goal with a run down the left side
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Ariel Lassiter called up for Costa Rica Men's National Team for 2026 World Cup Qualifiers